Coco; College Teacher; Philippines; In a long distance relationship.I started this blog because I needed some sort of an outlet. I wanted to bask in anonymity and yet still be heard. I want to squeal in delight or wallow in despair whenever I want to, any way I want to. This is my humble space in this vast world. A place where I can make a big deal out of the littlest things. Finally. (my email is wherecoconutgrows at gmail dot com)
This picture?
Me. Back when all I did was live by the beach. In beach huts. Hammocks everywhere. Not a care in the world. Rum Coke. Cold, cold beer. And seafood diet. Sunsets and sunrises. Fishing. Fishing. Fishing. And swimming. And laughing.
I miss that life.
Never a long lost friend.
I picked up my friend (whom I haven’t seen in 6 years) at the airport today. I saw him and his mom, called out his name, a look of recognition on his face, then a smile. We hugged, and walked towards the car.
No screaming. No jumping up and down.
It felt like we just hang out yesterday. When I moved back to my hometown back in 2007, he was one of those friends I left behind who never failed to keep in touch. He calls every week, leave me messages on facebook almost everyday. We talk regularly. Most of my friends (in the big city) would only keep in touch on birthdays and holidays, which really saddens me. I got tired of writing them emails regularly, only to get a reply weeks later. Oh well, that’s another story.
ANYWAY. During the ride to their hotel, my heart was filled with so much joy. Six years. And yet this person sitting beside me felt like home.
Today, I am grateful for the enduring friendship, for the sense of contentment and warmth this person brings to my life.
My lunch yesterday.
One piece fried chicken. Rice. Gravy. French Fries.
It was an emergency. I was in the city spending time with my bestfriend and making some errands.
I didn’t have time to think about my diet. Sorry, self! :)
9 hours…
and we’re still skyping.
He’s sleeping now, but I can still hear his steady breathing and the sound of the air conditioner in his room.
I was supposed to watch a movie in town, but decided to stay home and just hang out with him. I’m glad I did.
Started my day by messaging him on Skype, telling him that I’m up. 3 seconds later, my laptop was ringing. Our schedule is so predictable. :)
Did all my chores, watched Mirror Mirror on DVD, made dinner for my family while talking to him. We make a good team because we like teasing each other. I always win, of course. He’s so fun, and I like that we can laugh at almost anything.
In about five hours, I will be getting ready to sleep, and he will be waking up. We’ll talk for a little bit until I’m off to la la land, then when I wake up, Skype marathon begins. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Today, I am grateful.
For the time spent with my bestfriend, Jo.
For Yahoo Messenger.
For faraway friends who still keep in touch.
For coffee and fastfood.
For the 12 hour sleep.
For life’s pleasant surprises.
And for all the small things that made this morning sweet.
I miss HK.
I had the most amazing two months of my life there. It’s so full of life, always bustling and it never sleeps!
I miss waking up to my little room overlooking buildings and a big swimming pool.
I miss the food. I would eat out everyday and I never got tired of it.
I want to go back soon…
I met my friend A while I was studying for my masters degree in the big city. We both have the same classes so we would always see each other. He became my tour guide as I came from the province and didn’t knew much about commuting and stuff. He became my movie buddy and study partner. The last time we got together was 2006, the year before I move back to my hometown.
A month ago, he saw a nice promo from an airline and decided to book a flight to see me. I am beyond excited! It’s been almost SIX years. Thanks to cellphones and facebook, we are able to keep in touch regularly.
I am currently making our itinerary, and I am so looking forward next week when he arrives. I’m going to take him to some historical sites (mostly WW2 sites), touristy places and restaurants.
I am blessed with his friendship. Some of my friends I left behind in the big city barely talks to me, he is one of those who worked hard to keep our friendship going. He always remembers me on my birthdays, Christmases and other holidays. I was so touched when he told me that he’s coming. He’s for keeps :)
Good morning! The picture is a view from my bedroom window. Today is a good day- sunny and warm! Off to a birthday party in a little bit. Why are so many people born on May???
I can’t wait to see my nieces and my favorite nephew! I got a jar full of candies, and I’m sure I still have the “Favorite Aunt” title.
Just got done talking to my man, he’s off to work. He’s a little pissed because he’s going to miss the basketball game on TV. I can’t relate, so I don’t feel sorry for him :) Gonna finish this coffee, take a shower and off I go to socialize. :)
Have a great day/night!
Almost ready to go to bed.
I’m on skype and he’s snoring. It’s so good to see him home. We talked while he was eating his breakfast, and talked a little more when he was in bed. I’m so thankful that we have a routine. We talk everyday, never fails.
Sometimes, I feel so bad bitching about how hard this set up is. He’s always optimistic, and I’ve never hear him complain. He’s always steadfast and hopeful. I am truly grateful for his enduring love.
Off to make a midnight snack (sushi), then sleep. Goodnight! :)
My sister’s friend came over today and she brought her 2 year old daughter. She is so teeny tiny! She looks like a little doll and she’s very talkative. She calls my laptop “tap tap” Cute!
We played for a little bit and we were inseparable. She followed me wherever I go. I want to keep her!!!
I like how babies are at ease with me. :)
I want….
Ice cream.
Beach trip.
New shoes.
New books.
And a very cold bottle of beer.
5 years ago, when I moved back to my parents’ (after The Break Up), I explored the island where I grew up. I went to places I’ve never been and I met a lot of new people, mostly fisher folks. I fell in love with this little fishing village and found myself going back and forth most of the time. I would stay for weeks, enjoying the beach life. The people are so friendly, the place is pristine. Whenever I would leave, I can’t take the beach off my mind.
I found a place for sale… 11 hectares of property, with a beautiful bay, small hills and seven unexplored caves. The place was so far from civilization the only sound you will hear was the gentle lapping of the waves. Electricity and running water were not available yet, but there was a stream of fresh water.
Anyway, the owners wanted 250,000 Philippine Pesos for it (roughly 6k USD). I had the money that time and I wanted to jump in and buy it right then and there. This is the part where you can call me stupid… after a few days, I changed my mind. I was thinking, with my money that time, I could travel and see more of the world, which I did. I was young then (25 years old, yeah), and I was thinking that I will find another opportunity like that one.
After two years, I found out that the neighboring beaches were selling for millions of pesos! Yep, I’ve never banged my head so much.
I was telling this to my man earlier and as expected, I got a violent reaction :) He said, if I had that beach, he would never go back to the States and wouldn’t mind eating coconuts for the rest of his life.
Yeah, it was one of those things that I really regret. :(
Strive to be happy.
I got my music on full blast. There’s a bag of Hershey’s Kisses somewhere in my room… going to hang out with my father in a little bit. This ought to be a good day.
Lately, been trying to avoid my father, because I know he’s disappointed. We had a cats-in-the-cradle-moment a few weeks ago, when he started asking me what my plans are. I know he’s worried about me, all this quitting my job and waiting for me to move. He told me not to stop going, not to take a pause. With the pressure and the worries, I talked back (I never talk back to my parents) and said words I shouldn’t have said. Anyway, we patched up and everything is okay.
BUT. I know that he’s still worried about me. And every day, I can’t help but feel even more pressured to do something. I hate the disappointment in his eyes. He has always been proud of me, and I feel that I’m letting him down.
I am giving myself a deadline. If by the middle of June this moving in with my man is still not happening, I will just call it quits. No, not break up with him, but just give up the idea of being together this year. It will be painful, but what else can I do? I am starting to feel resentful and I hate it. This isn’t his fault, we’re doing the best we can. I think it’s just one of those painful things… no matter how bad you want it, and no matter what you do, it’s not gonna happen.
Ces’t la vie.
I’m alright. Thanks everyone.
I still feel bad about the way I acted last night. It was so not me and I even surprised myself. I guess I can’t be Ms. Sunshine all the time.
I should stop thinking about those opportunities I missed, and stop panicking about being in a standstill at 30. I’m waiting for something great to happen, and that is to be with him finally. It’s only been two months since I’m unemployed, it’s not the end of the world. This is my sacrifice. He will be worth it. This journey will be worth it.
Hope you all have a good day. Your words of encouragement helped me a lot last night. God bless your wonderful hearts!
For so long, I tried to be strong everyday. But today, I am just exhausted.
So I said stupid things. And I’m sorry I hurt you.
I’m allowed to break down, right?
I was overwhelmed by hopelessness, and I didn’t knew what to do. I wish I can tell you that everything will be okay, but I’m not sure.
Three years… I gave my best shot everyday. Today is just too much. These uncertainties, these frustrations, I can’t take them today. I’m sorry for being weak.
